How’s lockdown gone/going? For those of us with young children, it’s unlikely we’ll be returning to the workplace for a few months yet.
Combining running a business and homeschooling two children has brought back memories – good and bad – of when I established In the Works PR in 2011.
Having a baby and a toddler meant that I could only really focus on getting work done once they were in bed in the evening. It was at this point the trap was set for overworking.
I had this epiphany in the shower one morning recently – the only place in the house where I can get peace and quiet at the moment it seems. It’s a cautionary tale and one I shared with readers of the Derbyshire Times in this week’s issue (Thursday 14 May).
Here’s the full unedited version of the article…
…When lockdown ends and children return to school and homeworkers return to the office there’s a trap I don’t want any working parent to fall into – over working.
Nine years ago when I set up my business I had two children under the age of three. Money was tight to say the least. We could stretch to one day of childcare a week. That was the day I did all my meetings and got my fledgling business off the ground. The rest of the week, I juggled looking after two small children with work. Anyone who has pre school children will tell you that there is no juggling – the kids consume your every waking hour. Once they are in bed that is your time.
‘My time’ often stretched into the early hours of the morning as I worked on projects that, in an ideal world, would have been completed 9 – 5 in a child free environment. However, I was falling into a trap that took me seven years to escape from.
My business grew and so did my bank balance, allowing me the luxury of full time childcare and an office. However, by this time I had fallen into the trap of working for working’s sake.
As well as working 9-5 in my office, once the kids were in bed I continued to work into the early hours at home. If I wasn’t working when the kids were in bed, I felt like I was slacking and that I wasn’t working hard enough. It had become a habit. Those evening hours soon extended to the weekends. I dreaded the annual family summer holiday. I felt sick knowing I would be away from the office for two weeks. I only settled when I knew that where we were staying had WiFi. I even sacrificed my hair straighteners in my suitcase for a laptop! On holiday I would work on the apartment balcony until lunchtime every day. I would return to England paler than I had left it. I continued to work like this for a number of years and actually became anxious when I was away from my laptop. Life had become a cycle of work. I was living to work.
I broke the cycle with help from a life coach. She helped me clear my head and realise what my priorities were – family time. I also realised there was no need for me to work such long hours – no one expected it and I was setting unnecessarily high expectations. I was actually creating work for myself. I stopped. Not overnight of course. It took many months and I wrestled with the constant guilt that I wasn’t working hard enough.
So now, during lockdown, I find myself in a similar situation to the one I was in nine years ago. This time I am not looking after toddlers but I am homeschooling my now 9 and 12 year old boys. To be honest, it’s proving as demanding and frustrating as looking after toddlers. I find myself catching up on my work late at night and I have returned to working into the early hours and I am hearing similar stories from friends and colleagues.
When lockdown ends those of us that are combining working from home with home schooling will briefly feel like we’re on holiday as I once did when I put the kids in childcare and enjoyed a luxurious 8 child-free hours each day when I could just concentrate on me.
However, and here’s my warning, this honeymoon period will end and you may then feel that you’re not working long/hard enough because you are not working in the evening.
Push this thought out of your mind. Instead, enjoy the honeymoon period when you return to the office and let it continue until it feels like the norm.
Remember, during lockdown you are also doing the work of 1, 2,3, or even more small people as well as your own.
If nothing else, lockdown has shown us the importance of family, friends and health but all this could be forgotten if we live to work.
